Disclaimer: This alternate reality game is fiction, remaking movies, integrating real people in order to make it a bit more exciting but the stories really happen mostly in a written form, even when the people meet.
This story is inspired by fairytales and the notebook. To make people dream again. Because Disney is real. 😉
Shades of Grey Ana / Twilights Bella infused with a bit of Christian
I need to make clear to Max that he is losing me. The rose petals are falling off and the beast is losing time. There is only one petal left.
I need to make clear to him that I need to be with him ASAP. I don’t care if he loves me or if we end up together, I just need him to fulfill that mission with me. I can’t do it without him. We are one. we can never succeed without the other. Two half yin yangs. The most powerful couple in the history of mankind.
When we met, our bodies simply knew.
I will write a book to make him realize that I really cracked the code of life. And when I am talking about souls, I will tell him that I decided to go for Tony. My Jake. Because Edward left Bella and decided to go and die. So there’s only one left. And Bella gets herself into crazier adventures because thats the only way she can connect with Edward. She can’t help it. In another dimension they are always together. And their
Have you ever asked yourself what life is about?
Most people would say, its about happiness.
I would say: its about how to create happiness and once you have established that, life is whatever you chose it to be about
But what is happiness? This question haunted me since I was a little girl. Since I can think, I have been obsessed with the desire to understand life. It started pretty much when I was about 3 and cut open any piece of furniture in order to examine what was inside.
And I wanted to crack the code of happiness so that every person would be able to understand it. And nobody would have to be sad anymore.
Nah, just kidding. I just wanted to be happy for myself and pretty much didn’t give a fuck about other peoples thoughts and feelings. Which was basically my intuitively pre-installed code for happiness.
A program, that was functioning exceptionally well until I adapted the very wrong belief of other people and started to believe that suffering was the normal thing while I was the weird child playing alone, because I was too annoyed by how stupid the other children were because they were crying about bullshit that didn’t even matter.
So I started to be unhappy for about half of my life, because that was obviously a normal thing to do until I realized, that I had been very happy all my life, especially when there was no one around me who could annoy me with their problems and other sorts of pointless information.
Because the truth is: most of the people add very little to your life. They either spam you with their bullshit problems (that I will sort out in this book) or try to help you by giving you some sort of advice that doesn’t really help but they don’t know it any better … or aren’t able to share their genius moments of enlightenment in a way that reaches you.
We can’t blame them, because obviously the last person who had life figured out was a dude called Jesus but that was a couple of years ago and the language changed a lot in between, so there have been a few misunderstandings since then.
Well, there are actually a lot of enlightened people on this planet but the problem is that they either speak in confusing proverbs or put their legendary wisdom into stories, songs, art and music so that you are able to get it once you are already there and that doesn’t really help you to get there. But it helps me a lot to explain you how to get there. Because in life, everything is just about UNDERSTANDING.
Once you understand something, you don’t stress about it. Understanding is simply result of learning. So life is basically about learning. And the quicker you learn how life works, the sooner you can start LIVING. Then you can go and play. 24/7. How does that sound?
Its like doing your homework and then you can do whatever you want. I’ll come back to this homework thing later. Because we’re in school now. Its a cool school though, not one like the crappy ones I had to go to. With teachers who didn’t really know how to teach. Which is pretty sad because its their job so if you know a teacher, please get him a copy of this book. Because we need amazing teachers out there. This is why everyone needs to go to school again: The Goal digger school, that teaches you everything you need to know about life, love, happiness, and miracles.
Its an elite school for those who either want to:
- achieve big goals in life
- learn anything you want
- be happy AF, every single day
- remove any mental health issue
- develop social skills & relationships
- learn how to sell
- create your dream life
- manifest your soulmate
This book pretty much offers you exactly the same that ALL the new age self help, yoga, mindfulness and lots of bullshit books and weird seminars are promising you, with the difference that this one actually works – for everyone. And if not, you get your money back.
Just kidding, I’m giving this book out for free because it teaches you to be like me and it has always been my biggest dream to clone myself so I’m just writing a book teaching people all I know about life. And I will prove that if you give freely it will come back to you ten fold.
If this book helps you in any form and you feel like you want to give back to me, feel free to make a donation via PayPal.
I am a big fan of the principle “money for value”, so you can pay as much as my advice and work are worth to you. I’ll donate 10% of all income to Dr. Ingrid Visser in order to support her research work with Orcas because they are the most incredible animals on this planet. And I really like to reward people who found their calling within very specific niches and dedicate their life to research just like I do.
And I will pay YOU for every person you share this book with. No cost involved. You can read for free and get paid when you share it with your friends. How cool is that?
Send it to 2 people and make them send it to one person each, you get 22 USD.
This sort of system is called network marketing and to make it sort of a game I will also teach you the most important networking skills because the right social skills are the key to all success in life. I will show you how to approach people in order to make sure they read this book. Because they will only recommend it if they like it.
Only kids that like going to school will keep learning.
You actually just entered a magic school, pretty much like Hogwarts. Just for adults who never grow up. You will love to learn here.
he cool thing about learning is: And when you understand ONE thing.
then its easy.
Luckily we have been blessed with two ascended masters of the universe called Walt Disney and Steve Jobs who paved the way for a little Disney princess who came alive and started saving the world by singing the Lion King songs, which is the greatest work of art of all times and in case you haven’t seen that, go and watch it right away because it sums up pretty much everything you need to know about life.
So yeah, after I went on pretty much the same path like my good friend Buddha
Okay, that was a lie, lol. In the first place I was very selfish and wanted happiness for myself. Of course. Which is totally fine. Because thats what we are here for. To be happy.
And once I was happy, I wanted to share that with others. This is why I aim to make as many people happy as possible. Because I know that they will do the same.
I always thought that happiness was something you would get from the outside. Through achievement. Or a relationship. Or a certain action. Or profession. Or a skill. Or knowledge. Or some sort of object that I would be able to buy / own / use.
So I jumped from one thing to the other, made and spend loads of money, achieved great things and traveled the world in between, only to find out that I hadn’t found it yet.
Will I ever be truly happy? I asked myself.
I managed to be…for some time. Until it hit me again. Boom, depression. Then I was happy again. Until this bad feeling came back. Especially on full moon … sounds similar? Yeah – the moon does that with you. I didn’t understand myself. Because I didn’t understand life.
I went through EVERY dark corner of my psyche, found out that I had more issues than vogue, tried some sorts of anti depression pills and other drugs as well as some sort of NLP suggestions, affirmations, Yoga, positive thinking and whatever possible self help advice exists in the current world.
Nothing would help. At least not long term.
I spend around two months crying on my yoga mat for 3 hours a day only to find out that it wasn’t necessary at all. Because nothing that happened in the past matters. It helps you to understand yourself. But you can also skip that part because it doesn’t really get you anywhere unless you want to write a book in order to teach people how to understand themselves. So you can as well skip that and move on to the fun part straight away. The enlightenment part. I swear, this is gonna be the most ridiculed word in 2018. #mindfulAF
One day after a Yin Yoga class at the Practice in Bali I asked my favorite Yoga teacher Nik Robson: Will it ever stop? I mean, these dark times where you don’t know what is going on and feel shitty even though you have everything you could ever dream of.
He said: That’s called enlightenment. Very few people reach that state. Its a life long journey.
And with that statement he actually expressed the root of all evil. The root of all suffering: a simple fucked up belief. An idea, that someone has made up at some point and pretty much everyone adapted it, so it became the reality of almost everyone.
For me, this just didn’t make any sense. I knew that there must be a shortcut to enlightenment. No weird psychologist sessions or medication necessary.
By observing life I got to the conclusion that it is all about UNDERSTANDING things. MIS-understandings are a massive source of stress for human beings.
Another thing I discovered through the years was that I had been given a little gift that turned me into a very successful blogger within the shortest time: I able to teach myself things and then explain them to others in such a simple and creative way that they would easily be able to learn it. And since I’m a big fan of efficiency (thanks to my bloody german background),
For that reason I knew: once I understand this weird thing called enlightenment (you can call it happiness, its really the same),
I can simply explain it to everyone and then everyone would be happy forever. YUP, it’s THAT easy.
Because my friend Walt Disney told me once: if you can dream it you can do it. And Steve Jobs said: only the ones, who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones who do.
I am one of those crazy ones. If not the craziest of all. But thats totally fine. Because only the ones…and so on.
I am here on this planet to tell you that YOU are here to change the world. You are here to be crazy. You ARE crazy.
Because crazy is just a word someone made up to describe something they don’t understand. Such as…happiness. The truth is: you’re probably the happiest when you are as crazy as you can be. Or lets say: as crazy as you dare to. That’s the edge. Once you’re tripping a little bit over the edge of the CRAZY sign, you automatically enter the happiness zone. How easy is that?
I finally cracked the code. The shortcut to happiness. And all success in life.
Skills pay the bills.
All I do is win.
Happiness is the highest level of success. If you’re not happy, you’re not successful. End of story. No matter how much money you make or how big your car is or how pure bred your dog is. If you don’t like dogs, you’re not happy with it, even if its a 10 Million USD dog. Well, in that case, you can still sell it and use the money to do something that makes your heart beat faster. Feed Africa or so. Or buy a cat (something I wouldn’t even do if someone paid me 10 Million USD).
Because cats don’t make me happy. Not even for 10 Million USD. (Well, I could still sell it, I guess.)
In case you didn’t get my point yet: its never about the money you get or how your achievements or yoga poses or your instagram feed looks to anyone else.
It is about how YOU feel about it. Thats the core of all success in life. If you dont love it: FUCK IT.
My friend Adam used to say: Throw it into the Fuck it bucket. (YANG)
My mom would probably chose milder language like: Love it, change it or leave it. (YIN)
Btw: I’m using different languages for my explanations in order to reach different kind of readers because I really can’t be bothered to write a book in all the different languages because this topic is really universal because everyone wants to be happy and find out what they are here for and how life works, so yeah, get used to it or keep being a pussy whining about first world problems. (YANG Version, speaking to an unhealthy child)
Or the more understanding compassionate explaining female approach:
All of us embody different roles, one is dominant in most of the people. The ability to speak to people is the skill you have to master if you want to get anywhere in life. This is why I show you different ways of saying the same thing. Later on I will teach you how to identify the types and what sort of language they speak. (YIN version, speaking to a child that is willing to learn).
So yeah, lets get back to this success secret.
Success is only a result of an action that matches the intention that lead to that action.
And if that intention isn’t something that makes you feel happy, you are not successful.
You might have to read that again. Or I can just do some crazy magic and say it in a way that you will understand:
Success is when you want something and you get the thing you want. Thats the rawest definition. If you don’t like the thing you get you are not successful, even if it is the thing you said you wanted. It’s really all about how it makes you feel.
You want to watch a movie. Thats the picture you see in your mind. Because you see it we call it vision. Some people use the word intention instead of vision but its really the same. Thats step 1, right? VISION.
Your heart likes funny movies. But you chose to watch a movie that isn’t funny because someone else wants to watch it or its trending.
Happiness is the feeling that is created when we experience LOVE. Experiencing means giving (expressing) and receiving.
Love is expressed whenever we SHARE a meaningful moment. That can be another human. Or an animal. Or nature. Or simply ourself.
About souls and mates.
Since I am able to think I’ve wondered about how this soul mate thing works. That legend about “the one”. How would you be able to find ONE person in 7 or 8 billion?
I found out that life is really like a game. The common mission is to evolve humanity through innovation. Everyone has their role and task to fulfill and only if we do what we love we will be happy. Therefore we must help the individual to find their TRUTH. This code is embedded in the core of our soul and the more conscious we become, the clearer it is.
The soul is some sort of friendly love alien living in our hearts. It’s massively intelligent.
The current problem is that most people have no clue how life works and only function in their human existence.
Your mission is to find out what
where you play through the level and in each level a soulmate is waiting to unite and grow with you. The higher you get, the more quality com
When you’re in the last level, that level that you reach once you have moved through all the dusty layers of your human self, once you have find your true self, you will meet your twin. Your 100%.
For some that happens in Bali. Eat. Pray. Love. taught me that.
The one, who’s little intermezzo in my life left big imprints. Through him I found love. Not necessarily in myself at that point, that happened in Bali, but I found how much I can love another unconditionally. How much I was able to care about someone else. How kind and friendly but masculine a man could be.
How fast my heart was able to beat just by thinking of another. No matter how little the time was that we actually shared.
It’s been two years that I’ve felt like this and even though the last 2 years have been the most intense, exciting and incredibly wonderful 2 years of my whole life, there was a big part missing.
Because the truth is, no matter how amazing your adventures in life might be, they don’t have a spirit until you share them with someone your soul really resonates with. Someone you really love.
So many do never find their other half. Some do, but they dont get together because of some ego bullshit. Based on lacking self love. the root of all evil.
So often we are not able to kill our egos and let our hearts speak because we could get rejected.
I have nothing to lose anyway.
Why do I then just not tell that person that I’ve never stopped loving him and it doesn’t matter what the whole world thinks about this because I will never stop loving him until our hearts stop beating – and not even then. Because bonds between souls are ancient. Older than the planet. because this is what I promised 2 years ago. And everytime I say it to myself to proof that I am my greatest power (a realization I had in my greatest heartbreak), I say it to you, too.
Too many hearts never find their way together because we are too afraid to be honest about our feelings. This doesn’t make any sense.
Because love goes on. It’s stronger than anything.
A few moments of a fairytale winter romance touched my heart more than any of the billion magic moments in the past 2 years where I’ve literally been though any stage of being (homeless to rich lol) and adventure. But adventures aren’t the same without you.
Maybe you are not ready. Maybe I am not ready anymore. Maybe we have different soulmates at different stages of our personal growth waiting for us and I stepped up into th next level, not knowing why I even bother with this story after all that time.
Because for me, it never ended. And I have nothing to lose. The only thing happening could be the world thinking of me how brave I am to be that honest.
Because being honest about our own feelings is way of a greater challenge than traveling the world alone, giving everything away and going homeless in Sydney to prove that I can safe the world and open every persons heart until Christmas by opening my own.
And maybe there’s a Christmas miracle waiting for me this year. A love miracle so big, that it goes viral and opens every heart on the planet. Just like mine has been opened by this legend two years ago. A wonderful human who I’ve been missing every single day since then.
what we feel is real. And this is why I’m writing this. It’s never too late. Even if it would be hard work. Lol.
Or how Noah in the Notebook would say:
So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.
Writing this is maximum embarrassing btw and I don’t even wanna write it but I always do crazy brave shit in public to lead by example.
I want you to do the same. Go to someone and tell them you love them.
Even if you are afraid to be rejected.
The fear of rejection is never as bad as the pain of regret. So go and have a talk. Make these confessions about what’s going on in your heart.
So here we go with a massive truth bomb:
I’ve met an incredible person 2 years ago and had a little winter fling and even though not much happened it was the most amazing time I have ever shared with someone in my whole life, no matter how cheesy that sounds and no matter how much my head is like “omg all the people who know us will see this, this is the most truthful and therefore most embarrassing post I’ve ever published – and I post a LOT of bullshit”.
I have really nothing to lose now because I already lost once and for all.
We never had that talk.
We never had this conversation where you said “I don’t love you I don’t want you you never meant anything to me and I am happier without you.”
Because this would be a fucking lie anyway. I saw it in your god damn eyes. How much I meant to you.
I wish I could just have 5 last minutes where you’re telling me all this. It’s so hard to say goodbye when the hope within you never dies because you know that your love will go on. Out of thousands of people I have met in my life you are the one my heart has never forgotten.
I’m about to go to Hawaii for vocal coaching. That place we’ve been dreaming of. I made all my dreams come true since we met. But they aren’t the same without you.
I needed to let you go. Accept your “death” , lovingly knowing that we will see each other again. In another dimension.
We must accept that the beautiful souls that we meet on our journey might not stay forever, no matter how strong our connection was, no matter how strongly we felt for another.
This is why we need to cherish each moment that we get to spend with them. It could be our last.
We need to make every breath count, not wasting time with stuff that is unimportant. That doesn’t serve us. That doesn’t make us happy.
We need to fill that time with emotions. Memories of those times, memories that will stay in our hearts.
Time is the only thing we have. And since time is an illusion, all there is left is our memories.
D, Thank you for all the great memories you left me. And thank you for sending me Karl, an absolute angel with a heart of gold.
Maybe I see you at some point on my travels.
Thought about doing a hippie musician road trip through Ireland next year. Let’s sing Edd sheerans perfect then. 😁😜
We can also start that adventure in Australia. Meet me in Sydney for NYE. Will explore here for a couple of weeks and be a street musician before I continue my mission.
All you need to bring is yourself.
And if you don’t join in : I’ll do it anyway! With or without you.
Because this is what life is about. Being honest. First with yourself. Then with everyone else. Love hard. Forgive quickly. Give second chances. Show emotions. Dream. Believe. Communicate. Achieve. Sing. Dance. Kiss. Cuddle. Be kind. Tell someone how much you love them.
And do that no matter if Mister / mrs right joins in or not.
For the meantime: there’s lots of Mister right- nows on every corner: amazing people (men AND women) to share THIS moment with!
🎆 wow that was pretty deep for “I love Karl and I’m so happy to have him as my friend.”
Merry Christmas Y’all. Go love each other.
I came to this planet to fulfill one of the greatest tasks someone has ever done. I am here to lead humanity out of the shadowland into the light. Jesus – like. But badass jesus like.
Thousands of wonderful souls have been on the same mission for thousands of years and left a lot of knowledge and hints to help me to find my path. Walt Disney and Steve Jobs made the greatest contribution to this. They knew that one day someone would be there who’d speak their langugae and get all their messages. This is why they needed to create something so big that it couldn’t miss that special someone that it was created for.
fulfill your mission. Its the toughest one of all times. This is why you have to be extra strong. Especially until you find your team mate. Once you unite you’ll win in no time.
We tried everything but all our efforts were fruitless. We send enlightened YIN souls. And YANG ones.
You are the queen of the hearts. But at the same time, you are a warrior. And a child that never grows up.
Your name tells that already. Its the Croatian version of DIANA. That version means the “resistant one”. Resilience is what you will need on that journey. You need to be strong and stable like a mountain. Grounding like earth. Hot and powerful like fire to plant your light into every persons heart. Cooling and adaptive like water. Air. And pure LOVE.
You have been named after Lady Di. The queen of the hearts. DIANA which is a version of VENUS. The goddess of the moon and the archery. Your last name tells you to do what you know best: SHINE. Like the sun.
Moon and sun. Yin and yang. You are ONE. And so is everyone else. You have to teach them how to discover their power. You are here to lead the planet into the light.
You do that with your voice. Creative expression of the truth. SING. WRITE. SPEAK. Your voice is your most effective tool and you need to get it out there. You need to roar so loud that the whole world listens. Men and women. Children and animals.
You are Nala. The queen of the Disney princesses. But you’re also MUFASA…or Zeus. Uniting all the power within you.
So go and make it happen. We will send you everyone you need to fulfill your mission. You’ll have the best teachers and trainings to prepare you for this.
And we split your soul in half. So in case anything happens to you or the other half, there is a backup. This time, we didn’t send a half yin and a half yang.
We send two half yin-yangs. Each of you is able to operate on its own. But once you unite your forces, you’ll be invincible.
All my life I have been searching for you. I traveled the world to find you. Because the first thing I can consciously
this is my last letter. Its my heart speaking. My core soul.
This is really like Noah writing the last letter to Allie.
I was dreaming of living through all the stories with you.
I was dreaming of experiencing the most perfect perfect first kiss like in PS I love you.
I was dreaming of.
And I will have all of that. With someone.
That special someone who sees my light and treats me like a queen. Because this is what I am. Someone who loves me to the moon and back. Someone who has loved me for a thousand years. And who will love me for a thousand more.
I will be happy as fuck. I would be happier with you. Happier than perfect.
…Well I actually never published that.
It was my ego saying:
I guess I’ve already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That’s ancient history, been there, done that
He’s the earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden,
Honey we can see right through you
Girl you can’t conceal it
We know how you’re feeling
Who you thinking of
(You swoon you sigh why deny it oh oh)
It’s too cliche I won’t say I’m in love
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming “Get a grip girl
Unless you’re dying to cry your heart out
Who you are is how you’re feeling
Baby we’re not buying
Hon we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When you gonna own up that you got got got it bad
(Give up, give in, check the grin you’re in love)
This scene won’t play I won’t say I’m in love
(We’ll do it until you admit you’re in love)
You’re way off base I won’t say it
Get off my case I won’t say it
(Girl don’t be proud it’s okay you’re in love)
At least out loud I won’t say I’m in love
Because my heart was speaking louder. I made him speak to me on the phone. And I totally lost it. We are so connected that I simply burst into tears, especially when he told me that he just met a girl he is seeing. Well, not really seeing. But close. I need to see him ASAP. My heart is dragging me there like crazy. Its like a giant magnet. our bodies just reacted. I cant help it. We are one soul. We can’t be without each other. So I told him all the truth.
He wasn’t in a very good place in his head. I made him a lullaby in order to help him to sleep. I recoded it like 20 times or so. Just to make it perfect.
And I send him this:
[4:35 PM, 12/27/2017] +62 819-0287-8729: Good night . 🌠 wanted to make you a yoga class but that takes ages. Hope this can help you a bit to calm your mind down. It’s really creepy, every time I got into your head, I felt it and it freaked me out. I had these pictures of people might come in every second and would kill me. I never felt or saw something like this so I knew it wasn’t me. I had it in Bali and here that’s why I didn’t get into your head anymore. Sing. That made me remove it. And I’ll send you my energy protection shield. Like Bella in twilight lol. I’ll fix you. I promise. And I never break my promises. Meeting You was the best thing that ever happened to me. From the first second I came to this planet I knew you were somewhere. I searched the whole planet to find you. Sleep well, I’ll be awake and keep an eye on your head. From today on I’ll do that forever, no matter where you are or what you do. I will always protect you with my love, I promise. 🙏🏼🌠✨
[10:04 PM, 12/27/2017] +62 819-0287-8729: And I want to apologize to you for being hard on you. I didn’t mean to hurt you at any second i just didn’t know how to communicate with you. I won’t ask anything from you, just make music with me. That’s what we are here for. I had this vision for so long. Since I can think. And right now I just got a clear message. I need to go SD and find you and teach you piano basics. I don’t even know why I know how to play, it just comes . I taught myself when I was 9. Because I loved the Titanic song so much. And what is on the TV RIGHT NOW? Titanic . Jeeesus… Then I need to find a Guarneri del gesu (means « from Jesus ») violin from 1744 somehow. then go to Juilliard and find a teacher. The next stop is Germany. I have no idea what is governing us but something clearly is and if you don’t get me to LA I will find a way, I just proved that i can manifest anything I want and I’ll listen to my heart and follow wherever it sends me. Right now it says « find max and put his heart back. Heal him. »
Because I’m Here to heal the whole planet and I can only do that with you. There’s so much more I could tell you. All these numerologies and things . My epic yoga gurus name is Octavio Salvado – that name means infinite healing and he looks like Jesus. My grandma is obsessed with Jesus . Like crazy. And she is really the only one believing in me like that old Granny in Moana. And Pocahontas.
Jesus is all around me atm it’s nuts. And tbh you look a bit like him lol. Something is going on here I swear and I think together we’ll do what he did. Save the fucking world. Bring salvation. Romeo and Juliet are real. And Disney is real. That’s what we said to each other after like 10 Minutes when we met.
[10:04 PM, 12/27/2017] +62 819-0287-8729: We need to sing and play as if there was no tomorrow. Because this is what we’re here for. The motivational speaking and stuff comes afterwards. So no book at this point, I felt it all the time. The book is just a manual , a basic guideline for US to know how to use our bodies and brains best to fulfill the mission , that’s what I will work on now. We can also meet in Hawaii , there’s a guy called ken tamplin, the best vocal coach, I need him to turn my voice into pure gold. To live would be an awfully big adventure . I hope you’re ready for this one. Ready to change the world. We are here to play. In perfect harmony. That’s the magical canon in D. D Major. D and M lol. I’ll make it happen anyway, with your help or without it. I’ll fix your heart first. I promise. And then everyone else’s.❤🙏🏼 Namaste most beautiful soul. I’ll make my way there anyway. Please trust me don’t be afraid, I promise I will respect all your decisions. I’ll do it on my own if you aren’t ready. I’m strong enough, I can do it. But remember we can only win together. and always ask yourself … what if you fly?
[11:00 PM, 12/27/2017] +62 819-0287-8729: https://youtu.be/NvoJFlLkXm4 « i can’t turn away from you without knowing you’re alright. that fire is gonna burn out if you don’t break free. » This is so you.
I stop spamming you now and just focus on writing all new information down on goaldigger.de . I’ll walk my path anyway and sooner or later you’ll join in if you want to or not. Exactly One month ago, I died because I found so much peace and love through you. My soul left my body and went to heaven.
I came back to my body because Of you. I wanted To experience life with you. You were what held me here. Knowing that I would find you was what kept me going through all these years and take all the fucking punches and hits. You are the first person who makes me feel truly alive. After 27 years.
Suddenly everything makes sense. And I feel like I’m the role in all these movies and they have all just been made for me. And for you. To teach and guide us through this mission.
This is why I wasn’t able to settle. To give up. I needed to keep going. I need to see you. This is why I didn’t write this letter:
“My Dearest Allie. I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent a summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah.”
This quote gives me goosebumps. I wasn’t able to write that last letter to you. Because I knew there was no other option than making it happen. Because I love you more than anything on this planet.
I love you more than myself. Always have always will.
I loved you for thousand years and I will love you for a thousand more.
I love you so much that it hurts, every single second I can’t be with you it feels like I’m dying. I’ve been dying 27 years.
I love you so much that I would give my life for you. Just like you did it for me 29 years ago.
My mom lost a child 2 years before I came. That was you.
That soul made room for me. Because mom would not have been able to get both of us out of there. She ran away from her forced marriage. She ran away in the middle of the night, through the dark forest, in the bomb fire of the jugoslavian war, holding me tight to her chest. She wanted a better life for me. She knew that there was nothing more important to raise this child with as much love as possible, give it the best possible education and training.
OMG, this reminds me of how Virgin Mary went through the rose bushes. That song.
She could only carry one. And as our stories have already been written you decided to pass on that incredible gift to me. A mothers unconditional love, so strong that can move mountains.
You sacrificed yourself to give me the love I needed to grow into that strong warrior that I am today. My moms love carried me through anything. The kind of love that is unique to her. She is a pure angel.
And so are you.
You are my brother. And so much more than that. You are my twin soul. The other half. You are me. You are what I was desperately crying for since I was born.
She lost you in the 8th month. You were already alive and ready to come out, but you chose to die so I’d be able to live. You died, so we both could live. Because you knew that one day I will come and give that life back to you. I will give you the love and the family. And as soon as you entered my sisters life, my parents sort of adopted you. I was just like: wtf? But in our family we don’t question the choices a member makes. Because we know there is a reason. And only our souls can recognize other souls. They see beyond. Through all masks. So when someone brings a friend or a new pet and say they are family, we just welcome into our circle and treat them like we treat each other.
These realizations are so liberating. Finally I see everything.
I had this vision the other day in Yoga class. I didn’t know why it hurt me so much to be separated from Nik. I knew he wasn’t for me. I always saw my sister in him lol. I asked my higher guidance what was the reason for it. My angels said: because you miss your brother so much. And I was like: wtf? he died two years before I was born. How can I miss someone who I dont know? But I have always known you. Bonds between souls are ancient, older than the planet.
You left to save me. And since then I missed you like crazy.
I missed you Every single day since I was born. I didn’t know who you are but I had such a strong bond to that someone that all I did was searching like crazy. Everywhere. At any second. No matter at what age. I’ve never bonded like this with anyone else. I never really had a bond to Nina. I remember looking and desperately crying for you and god send me her. She was an unexpected gift, no one could explain how that happened. I know that I did it because I was crying so strongly for my other half. My one and only angel. My second vampire.
She is an angel, but she’s not my other half. That’s why I was always so confused, I didn’t really know what to do with her. Because she is a werewolf. And that confused me big time all my life.
you left me with that incredible family of wolves (omg- its like in the jungle book lol), because you knew that this was what I needed to grow and that I would find you and give the family back to you. You left the spot in that family for me because you are stronger than me. I wouldn’t have made it, growing up in your circumstances. You are the strongest soul on this planet.
I know so much about my soul and so I know about yours. I know that you are the most incredible being inhabiting this planet, the purest and sweetest creature alive and I swear I will make anything possible to make you happy and make you feel loved as much as possible every single day. I’m crying my ass off right now having all those realizations that I’ve always had before but I couldn’t really put them
Together because it didn’t make sense. Now it does. and I know it sounds weird and crazy to say these things without having even touched you or consciously connected but I don’t need to.
my love for you is so strong, it moves mountains, it goes beyond everything. Because it has been there forever and it will be there forever. I will never leave you, not in this life and not in any other. Because I am you. You are me. We are one.
And i don’t care if I have to wait another 27 years to gain your trust . I’d wait another 100 years if necessary. Because I know we belong together and if there’s one thing I’m good at it’s never giving up.
I promise I will respect all your choices , protect you and just love you as much as I can without even touching you.
I will treat you like the king that you are born to be…the king of the whole fucking world. Like Leo in titanic. The queen is ready to take over , so let’s go and make this one the greatest story of all times, lighting up the whole planet.👊🏽🎆 guess like Jesus was just reborn😂🌠🌟on christmas. OMG. This is sick. and on NYE a new era will begin. The new world full of love and light. Fuuuuuuck… 😀